After 18 hours of pitocin and dilating to 3cm, the doctor broke my water at 9am on Friday, September 4, 2009. Words cannot describe the pain of contractions. Everyone tells you that it is unimaginable pain, and you think to yourself "Yeah, I know it's gonna hurt. My body is opening up to have a human." But nothing, absolutely nothing, can prepare you for this kind of hurt. I can honestly say that if someone offered me death, or to keep going, during that first contraction, I would have definitely chosen death.
Because I knew that having a baby was probably going to hurt, I had but one item on my birthing plan: Epidural. Many women want to try to do it "naturally" so that they get the full experience. I had absolutely no desire to do anything naturally or feel any of it. My desire was to play cards or take a nap my entire labor and only partake in the pushing. Unfortunately, life had a different plan for me. The problem I was facing was that during the child birth class, I completely tuned out the breathing portion since I was going to be drugged up. Antonio actually even asked the instructor for another partner in class because I wasn't paying any attention. I told him "I don't need to know this, I'm going to get drugs". I am an idiot.
Anywho, I immediately asked for an epidural when the first contraction came and they told me I would have to wait a bit since they just broke my water. They wanted to make sure the baby didn't go into shock. I about when into shock. I'm sorry, 'have to wait'? How many of those bone splitting contractions was I going to have to endure before getting the sweet taste of epidural? After watching the spikes of about 3 or 4 more contractions, the nurse got the anesthesiologist. I cannot stress this enough to all of the "natural" birth women out there - GET THE EPIDURAL. You get no medal for having a baby naturally. You get no extra respect when you tell people you did it naturally either. They will all just look at you like you're crazy, not admirable.
I have heard many stories of my friends getting the epidural and feeling nothing the entire birth. I wish that was the case for me. Although I didn't feel the contractions, I felt everything else. Everything. The pressure was so uncomfortable that in between contractions, I was throwing up. My poor mom was holding a leg while I pushed and then holding a bowl for me to throw up in. I began pushing at 12:03pm and the doctor told me to push 3 times during each contraction. I did this a few times and then just covered my face and began to cry. There is no way humanly possible that this baby is going to come out. It hurt so bad. I could feel every tear each time I pushed. On the last set of 3 pushes, the doctor looked at me and said "if you have one more push in you, this baby will be out." I grabbed my knees and pushed. I wanted this over with.
At 12:32pm Antonio Jr. (AJ) entered the world. Thank God I only had to push for about 30 minutes. I was so exhausted just from that. They put AJ on my chest, he looked me right in the eyes and I instantly began to cry. AJ then looked over at Antonio very slowly and then back at me. He was so quiet and perfect and an absolute miracle. I cannot believe he's mine.
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